Mean Moms

I don’t consider myself to be a “Mommy Blogger.”  This probably stems from the fact that I had been blogging for a full two years before I became a mother.  I guess if I had to pick a category to fit into, it’d be “Green Blogger.” 

When I joined the ranks of the Green Bloggers back in March of 2008, I was amazed by the wonderful support, encouragement, friendliness and fun of the Green Blogosphere.  I loved joining challenges with Crunchy Chicken, Green Bean, Chile, Arduous, Crunchy Domestic Goddess, and I’ve found wonderful friends in Laura and Jena.  Along the way I’ve had lots of fun with Amber, Retro Housewife Goes Green, Green Mamma, Aisling, and been inspired by Jenna, Country Girl, Matron of Husbandry and Sharon.  (So sorry if I forgot anyone!)

Since becoming a mom, I’ve gotten more involved in parenting topics and have made some nice new friends.  I’ve also seen some moms be really mean to each other.  It’s been kind of shocking because my old circle of Green Bloggers lacks this mean element.  In working toward the common goal of sustainability, there’s no reason to be mean to each other.  There are disagreements, sure, but not the drama that I’ve witnessed in Mommy Blogs and Mommy tweets.  I’ve found myself following along with some of the squabbles and taking sides, but trying to keep out of the actual argument.  I might comment on the topic (for example, with my Bark It Out post), but I try not to argue.

I don’t want to fight.  I don’t want to start  drama to drive traffic to my blog because I blog for me, not sponsorship or free stuff or anything else.  I think the “Mommy Wars” are unproductive and I’m taking a hint from my family of Green Bloggers.  I’m hoping to encourage, help, support, have fun with and maybe even inspire other moms.  I refuse to be a Mean Mom and I challenge other moms to do the same!



Filed under Sustainable Living

14 responses to “Mean Moms

  1. First off I’ve enjoyed getting to know you as well!

    Also I have seen this a lot in the reading I do of some of the mom blogs. Also my mom and I have talked about how some people write about their kids and how it bothers us. People will post things that are down right mean about their kids or even just very embarrassing. I agree that the green blog circle does have a lot less drama.

  2. Well said! I know this isn’t the point of your post but it seems like a good time to mention it… I think you’ve done a great job balancing the mommy talk with your other content. No one could blame you if you focused all on Joshua but it is nice that you keep up with the recipes and no-nonsense pep talk that we all love.

  3. Being a mom is really stinking hard. We need to do our best to support each other as we do it. Being mean is just uncalled for. Plus, it’s not exactly the best example for our kids.

  4. Totally agreed. It’s one of the reasons I avoid all the mommy content.

  5. I think some of the main things people get passionate and pushy about are nutrition and parenting. There are just so many different approaches, and each person and family is so different.

    When I first started trying to get pregnant a couple years back, I was repeatedly badly bullied on a forum that shall remain nameless. You wouldn’t believe what horrible comments I got from what felt like whole gangs of women just for sharing something or asking a question. At first I tried being nice anyways, and was told I had ‘rainbows coming out of my ass.’ Then I tried defending myself, but when I realized it just fueled their snarky, snobby, and very hurtful comments, I decided to leave the forums all-together.

    I hope you can always feel like this blog of yours is a safe place to share your mothering experience and thoughts. If there is cyber-bullying going on somewhere, it’s probably best to drop it or search for a different community.

    Sending you love!

    • I’m so sorry to hear that people treated you that way! I often wonder if they’d say the same things face to face. I would guess they’d censor themselves.

      The good thing about having your own blog is that you can delete those comments!

  6. Hear hear! For some reason, there’s a certain category of women who find that entertaining (*cough Real Housewives of Who-the-Hell-Knows-Now cough), but it’s just spiteful and mean. One thing that keeps ME in line is knowing that my sis DOES read my blog, and my mom has been intending to. I don’t want to have to write something that would be inappropriate out-of-context.

    Now, that’s not to say that we’re not mean and snarky in real life, but the internet is different. You can gauge an audience in real life to tell if they’re sick of your crap!

    • I agree! My family and some of my colleagues occasionally read my blog, plus I’m aware of the reality that my students might find my blog and read it. I want it to be appropriate for my audience! Also, I’m not generally a mean person so I think that helps 🙂

  7. Terry aka Goatldi

    Oh my! Mean Moms, whoa.

    Differences of opinion are healthy. Many roads to a certain end are always around. Very few things in life have only one way to accomplish and end goal. And it is a good thing that we all don’t want the same thing or it would get really crowded.

    I have always felt that we need to keep in mine that the pie is big enough for all and sometimes a gentle nudging is all that is needed.

    Being a Mom, or anything else, is not a competition. It is a goal that we each achieve to our own satisfaction. Despite what the world around you may be saying “life is not a competitive sport”.

    I will happily retreat to my corner of goats, chickens and being a Gammie. No harm , no foul.

  8. Terry aka Goatldi

    opps pls. excuse typo’s-it has been a long day!

  9. I think Amber summed it up for me. To add my own 2 cents though, sometimes the tone of text is hard to hear. I’ve been offended and stopped visiting blogs because of the “tone” I inferred in a post that I considered mean. Then again, it’s hard to know whether the tone of my own words, one that I am unaware of or do not intend to be there at all, could offend someone else.

    That said, I think you are on the mark in that as a community we should support each other and stay away from negative comments or trying to make someone else feel bad.

    Great post Abbie!

  10. I’ve never understood how women can be, well, almost competitive in their parenting. And it does seem to be somewhat worse online. But maybe it’s because the printed word seems more permanent than an off-hand remark?

  11. Sad, but very true! It’s really nice to read your blog and see your beautiful photos and wonderful “green ideas” ! It is very refreshing! Happy Holidays and please take care…

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